At the age of twenty, I have a lot of problems and often need to turn to adults for my solutions with the belief that their experience about life can be useful to me. For example, now in my country of Cameroon, people do not respect life as a precious gift from God. Brother sometimes kills brother just for earthly property. There is corruption, bribery, injustice, discrimination, embezzlement of public funds, etc. Also, the rich seem to control every bit of wealth and the poor are left with nothing.

My father is a civil servant, but despite this fact, he is not able to educate all of the family. Because of the corruption in the country he may work for five to eight weeks without receiving his salary and as much as he tries, there are many problems.

When his salary comes, which is at times not up to what it should be, he needs to use this money to pay his debts, sometimes with large amounts of interest. I pity and sympathize with my parents very much and as a result, most of my life is spent in misery. I don't usually feel fine especially when they announce that there is going to be a fee drive at school.

Now that I am about to complete my secondary education, I know that after completing it, I will have to take a hoe and follow my mother to the farm since my father is not capable of sending me to university. I often think of this with much pain and bitterness.

I have all these fears because I am a woman. It is generally believed in my society that a woman is meant for marriage and so a certain level of education for her is considered useless. If my father has to retire soon, all will be lost as there will be no one to turn to.

The thought of marriage scares me. Many young men come to me for "love" and "marriage." They send sweet-sounding words and messages to my ear like arrows. I fear I may be decieved as many of my friends and relatives have fallen victim to this situation.

So I need an adult who can advise me. For if I am not advised, I might move ahead of my shadow which is not good. Then who knows what will happen?