| “More than ever I find myself in
the hand of God. That is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now there is
difference: the initiative is entirely with God.” P. Arrupe SJ from the prayer card of
Sister Mary Carty, CND
February 17, 1946 – March 9, 1999
Funeral services were conducted Friday, March 12 in
Kingston Ontario for Sister Mary Carty, CND. Sister Mary was the provincial of the
English-speaking sisters and associates from Ontario, Quebec and British Columbia of the
Congregation of Notre Dame. |
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Sister Carty died of cancer Tuesday,
March 9 in her 54th year, her mother Helen Carty and aunt Sister Gertrude Hamilton, CND at
her side. Mary's deep spirituality and keen insights into the present and future of
religious life will be deeply missed.
Sister Mary was born in Kingston and entered the community in 1966. She taught in
Brockville and in Kingston until 1985, when she moved to Ottawa. There, she worked as
director of formation for newer members of the CND and with Catholic Immigration Centre.
In 1993, Sister was elected provincial leader and was re-elected unanimously in 1997.
Ever the teacher, Mary touched the lives of many people throughout her active ministry and
her illness. Among her many gifts were her love of the community and Marguerite Bourgeoys
and her contagious sense of humour. These and many other gifts she shared with everyone
with whom she came in contact. Even in her death, Sister Mary prepared a message for the
congregation, an excerpt of which follows:
“... and so, at the end of my days I just know
God is with us if we allow it to be so.
Stay close to God. Love one another.
Love the poor.”
Remembering Mary Carty by Rosemary Brosseau, CND March 12, 1999
For those who do not know me, let me just say that Mary, Rosemary Shannon and I worked
very closely together as the full-time members of our provincial leadership team for the
past six years. We often spoke of how we felt called and graced to be working together.
On January 16 Mary went over her funeral plans and she asked if I would do her eulogy. She
explained that she would write it for me to read and I could add “a little”. So,
that is what I will do – first "a little" and then her words to us.
Mary taught us how to live and she taught us how to die. More accurately, Mary taught us
how to live fully unto death. And she did this with incredible freedom and faithfulness.
She was not afraid to die but she would always say “You know this has to be the
result of the prayers of so many people. It is a pure gift of God.”
Many times the word “transparency” was used to express our experience of Mary's
openness, her willingness to let us into the intimacy of her experience of utter
vulnerability. At a time when many of us might be inclined to protect ourselves and close
the circle around us, Mary instead risked all; she risked the little energy she had left
to allow the circle of her relationships to deepen and to grow larger even to welcoming
new relationships – of those she met during the time of her illness... nurses,
doctors, patients who were touched by her in deep and lasting ways.
Who will not remember Mary's smile - a smile radiant with an irrepressible inner joy that
seemed to hold each person as uniquely welcomed, loved and needed right there at that
moment.
Mary felt loved and she loved deeply. She was able to say: the only thing that really
matters is love. Her expressed “I love you's” came more and more easily and
frequently. She often said that her greatest suffering was that her illness was causing
pain to those she loved so dearly. She delighted in speaking of the times she had the
opportunity to say “I love you”
Like her visit with Pat in the hospital when they both felt their
suffering was harder on others than on themselves her time with Tom at a real live
Senators' game where the time with Tom was the most precious part of all her time
with her nephews, Jeff and Paul and Matthew when she was able to tell them how proud she
was of them the “I love you” that flowed with Aunt Gert and her
sisters-in-law – Mary Jean and Anne and her Mom who was also her best friend –
how she drew strength and faith from you day after day. She often repeated your response
to her one day when you said “You know Mary, isn't this moment the one for which all
of life is a preparation?” This seemed to give a sense of dignity and meaning to her
living that sustained and held her.
On her birthday, February 17, out of the blue Mary asked, “What are the names of the
planets?” Somehow, I had a sense that Mary was being drawn into a new and bigger
perspective and presence in the universe. Maybe she and God were checking out her star. So
as we look at the stars tonight, we may well notice a new and especially brilliant one
shining there. And if we listen carefully, we are bound to hear Mary's infectious laughter
rippling off into a characteristic giggle we know so well – we may even smell popcorn
popping – not unusual for a Friday night. We may even hear Mary's cheers for the
Senators or for some new and promising figure skater, or we may hear Mary's invitation for
a heart-to-heart chat – and that chat might sound much like these words Mary wanted
us to hear from her today...
Mary Carty's words to us: Read by: Rosemary Brosseau,
CND
Before I go I wanted to write a few last words – I'm always getting the last word,
you may say – to you my beloved family, friends and Community.
I want you to know how grateful and happy I've been as a member of the Hamilton-Carty
clan, a religious woman, a member of the C.N.D. During this past year, you and my friends
have offered me the loving environment in which I learned so much you already know. I want
to share some of that today.
I've come to know in my flesh and bone that
God is patient, offering me opportunities to learn the lessons a life has tried to teach
God is gentle, holding me close during this time of suffering
God is merciful, forgiving me over and over and letting me rejoice in the gifts given and
used well
God is intimate love; loving me just as I am – deeply – warmly
God is peace, offering me such calm when I could have been anxious and worried
God is love, allowing me to be overwhelmed by the love of others and allowing me to see
that love of others is all that really matters
God is lover of the poor, choosing to stand with those who are impoverished, oppressed,
excluded, being with me in my vulnerability
and so, at the end of my days I just know
God is with us if we just allow it to be so.
Stay close to God.
Love one another.
Love the poor.
Farewell my friends. Thank you for everything.
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